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when you make a joke and everyone laughs


attention passengers this is your pilot speaking, we’re going to be experiencing some heavy turbulence shortly so please strap in. this loser just bet that i couldn’t do a 360 barrel roll in this thing and let’s just say i’m about to be $20 richer real soon




i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed

a dentist

i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police

“I do all kinds of things. Law enforcement, medicine, office work.”

  • Me: *checks other social media sites*
  • Me: yeeeeea. Imma just go back on tumblr now.